Fairytale Endings Aren't Real. They Exist To Give Us Fantasies That Will Never Come True. . .And Subsequently Break Our Hearts.

*giggle*Sorry...couldn't resist.

The Mathematics of Life

Give me 3 days to recover from a sore-throat,
One sleepover with a best friend,
And one outing with two best friends.

What do you get?
. . .
. . .
A sore-throat.

Greeting from Sha Lynn's house.

We're still waiting for Senor Cockroach(that's Siew Keong to you!)to come 0ut from under the bed. He's hiding there like the snivelly little coward he is.

You Google Staff Are Mean

*clackety-clackety-clack*
Your search - "wooden gift wrapper organizer" - did not match any documents

Did you mean: "wooden gift wrap organizer"

*clicks on "wooden gift wrap organizer"*

. . .
. . .
Your search - "wooden gift wrap organizer" - did not match any documents.


Why, oh why do you torture me so, Google Image Search?
How have you known that I had to do my Living Skills documentation?

Colourful Terms for the Colourful Student

In an effort to prevent myself from using curse words like damn, shit and in more extreme cases, f-[expletive], I, with help from Yi Jing, have come up with a list of more colourful and cute terms so as not to set fire to your neighbour and his cat with such foul-mouthed...ness.

Colourful, Cute, Curses(CCC to you):
Darn
Smokes!
Stoo-pard
Piffles
Snerk!
Purpley-blue!
Peaches and cream!(fine, Kenneth Parcell helped a bit, too...)

Well, there you have it. Can't say that it's rather clever nor cute. But, as a good neighbour, I believe it's my absolute duty to not set fire to the neighbour and his cat with my foul-mouthed...ness.

The Endless Possibilites of A BM Karangan.

So I was surfing the internet a lil', poking around here and there...watching Scrubs videos on YouTube(or as Beatrice so aptly puts it:KamuTube) and so on and so forth. I didn't know what the hell I was typing on Google, but I came across this BM essay in some website. Said to be the best BM essay ever and most likely will earn a definite 'A' for UPSR. This essay was written by a prodigal 10 year old and goes like this:


Pagi itu pagi minggu. Cuaca cukup sejuk sehingga mencapai takat suhu beku. Sebab itu saya tidak mandi pagi sebab air kolah jadi air batu dan air paip tidak mahu keluar sebab beku di dalam batang paip. Pagi itu saya bersarapan dengan keluarga di dalam unggun api kerana tidak tahan sejuk. Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya menemaninya ke pasar. Tetapi saya tidak mahu.

Selepas emak menikam perut saya berkali-kali dengan garfu barulah saya bersetuju untuk mengikutnya. Kami berjalan sejauh 120 kilometer kerana pasar itu letaknya 128 kilometer dari rumah. Lagi 8 kilometer nak sampai pasar saya ternampak sebuah lori kontena meluru dengan laju dari arah belakang.

Dia melanggar emak saya. Emak saya tercampak ke dalam gaung. Dia menjerit “Adoi!”. Lepas itu emak saya naik semula dan mengejar lori tersebut. Saya pun turut berlari di belakang emak saya kerana takut emak saya melanggar lori itu pula. Pemandu lori itu nampak kami mengejarnya. Dia pun memecut lebih laju iaitu sama dengan kelajuan cahaya. Kami pula terpaksa mengejar dengan lebih laju iaitu sama dengan dua kali ganda kelajuan cahaya. Emak saya dapat menerajang tayar depan lori itu. Lori itu terbabas dan melanggar pembahagi jalan lalu bertembung dengan sebuah feri. Feri itu terbelah dua.

Penumpang feri itu yang seramai 100 orang semuanya mati. Pemandu feri itu sangat marah. Dia pun bertukar menjadi Ultraman dan memfire pemandu lori. Pemandu lori menekan butang khas di dalam lori dia..lori itu bertukar menjadi robot Transformer. Mereka bergaduh di udara. Emak saya tidak puas hati. Dia pun terus menyewa sebuah helikopter di Genting
Highlands dan terus ke tempat kemalangan. Dia melanggar pemandu feri yang telah bertukar menjadi Ultraman itu.

Pemandu feri itu terkejut dan terus bertukar menjadi pemandu feri semula lalu terhempas ke jalanraya. Pemandu feri itu pecah. Pemandu lori sangat takut melihat kejadian itu. Dia meminta maaf dari emak saya. Dia menghulurkan tangan ingin bersalam. Tetapi emak saya masih marah. Dia menyendengkan helikopternya dan mengerat tangan pemandu lori itu dengan kipas helikopter. Pemandu lori itu menjerit “Adoi..!” dan jatuh ke bumi. Emak say menghantar helikopter itu ke Genting Highlands. Bila dia balik ke tempat kejadian, dia terus memukul pemandu lori itu dengan beg tangannya sambil memarahi pemandu lori itu di dalam bahasa Inggeris.

Pemandu lori itu tidak dapat menjawab sebab emak saya cakap orang putih. Lalu pemandu lori itu mati. Tidak lama kemudian kereta polis pun sampai. Dia membuat lapuran ke ibu pejabatnya tentang kemalangan ngeri itu. Semua anggota polis di pejabat polis itu terperanjat lalu mati. Orang ramai mengerumuni tempat kejadian kerana ingin mengetahui apa yang telah terjadi. Polis yang bertugas cuba menyuraikan orang ramai lalu dia menjerit menggunakan pembesar suara. Orang ramai terperanjat dan semuanya mati.

Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya ke pasar untuk mengelak lebih ramai lagi yang akan mati. Di pasar, emak saya menceritakan kejadian itu kepada penjual daging. Penjual daging dan peniaga-peniaga berhampiran yang mendengar cerita itu semuanya terkejut dan mati. Saya dan emak saya terus berlari balik ke rumah. Kerana terlalu penat sebaik saja sampai di rumah kami pun mati. Itulah kemalangan yang paling ngeri yang pernah saya lihat sebelum saya mati.



Like I said, it was written by a prodigal 10 year old. But hey, you gotta give the kid some credit for his imagination.
What-your pants are wet?

Bound and Gagged Against My Will

Never EVER underestimate the power of a clingy seven year-old. You will be bound, gagged and forced to watch:
Some annoying tween singing about her first day in school
The Nick Jonas Show
Hannah Montana's music videos
Jesse McCartney's music videos

Unless you've experienced all of the above, you. Have. No. Idea. What. I've. Gone. Through.

*giggle*

I'm STILL holding on to my fantasy of being with Matthew Bellamy and making lots of babies together. Only thing is, I will get my tubes tied, tell him I'm very fertile, and begin our fruitless quest for trying for kids. After all:

If at first you don't succeed: Try, try again.

Now, now...

Look readers, if you're going to pick a fight with your parents, do it properly. Pick a good topic to argue about, like maybe why you can't go out or something. Whatever it is, NEVER EVER fight over why you don't like tong sui and absolutely refuse to eat it. It ain't cool like that.

Ughh

Channel surfing one day, I came across Hitz.tv. And they were showing the music video for 'Your Love Is A Lie'. The music video got me thinking, "I CAN'T BELIEVE I LIKED SIMPLE PLAN."

What-no...Seriously?

You're welcome to my house anytime, but be forewarned. In my house, clothes are known to disappear for an extended period of time and then mysteriously appear in the most unexpected places...or sometimes not appear at all...Mysterious...

No Comment...

Just yesterday, I called McDonald's to make a home delivery. I ordered a nice Prosperity Burger. The only thing that spoiled my order was, "Is there anything else you would like to order, sir?"